Monthly Archives: August 2007

She’s wearing red this time

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I’ve decided to write this post since the mention of Maria Sharapova will likely quadruple our visitors.  I hope you 3 enjoy it! I feel like fashion is more a part of women’s tennis than well, the tennis.  Case in point, Bethanie Mattek who thankfully lost in the first round thereby only subjecting us to this monstrosity once.

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Filed under Maria Sharapova, U.S. Open

Kiran Chetry: Giving us the news we care about.

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I should preface this post by saying that in general I don’t watch CNN very often, but I do play around on the internet and watch random clips that happen to come my way.  More and more often one journalist seems to be behind these clips; that journalist Kiran Chetry.  In case you were as unaware as I cnn.com states that:

Chetry joined CNN in February 2007 and immediately began anchoring various CNN programs including American Morning, Anderson Cooper 360º, Paula Zahn Now and CNN Newsroom. Previously, Chetry was the anchor of Fox & Friends First and Fox & Friends Weekend for the Fox News Channel. She has covered major breaking news stories including reports from the field during the aftermath of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, the Columbia Space Shuttle disaster, the invasion of Baghdad and Hurricane Katrina.

While Chetry may have been covered many of the most important American news stories of the last ten years, a quick google reveals that what really made her famous.  Chetry has clawed her way to the top of the broadcasting totem pole, by not being afraid to do what it takes to get there and by covering any story at all.  She will have an awkward interview with a spelling bee champion, call co-workers from the bathtub, jump on a pogo-stick in high heels and a short skirt, hit the street with an ugly dog, talk to a pedophile, get pied by a clown,  perpetuate French stereotypes, talk down to Hillbillies about Politics, watch Panda pornography, sit on Santa’s lap and flirt with him, and sleep on the street.  Oh yeah she’s also pretty hot and not afraid to dress up as as a sexy video game character for Halloween.

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Filed under CNN, katie has some big ass tit-tays, Kiran Chetry, Life

At what point have I cheered sufficiently?

I was just cruising Greg Oden’s Blog which you really should check out if you have three or four free minutes, and I came across one of the best things that I’ve seen in a while. I don’t know how this clip slipped past me for so long, but it shows the people of beautiful Portland Oregon getting far too excited for something that everyone in the sporting world knew was going to happen. I mean come on, was the fact that they drafted a prospect that scouts are calling a once in a generation talent really surprising? It’s not so much that people cheered it’s how long they cheered for and how much jumping around there was. The video lasts almost a minute and it doesn’t look like the crowd is anywhere near settling down when it ends. I suppose that we’ve all been there but while watching the video I could only thing about if I were there how uncomfortable I would be and how all I would be thinking is: “How much longer to I have to jump up and down with my hands in the air?”

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Filed under Beautiful Portland Oregon, Greg Oden, Greg Oden's Blog, Over excited

If for no other reason, watch it for Chabal.

It’s official, August is the most boring month on the calender.  Having already given up on baseball as a professional sport due to its unfair treatment of everyone who is not a Red Sock or Yankee, I have been concentrating my efforts on getting as pumped up as possible for the upcoming NFL season.  Even this is starting to wear on me as I’ve been inundated with news of some fellow who enjoys fighting dogs in his spare time more so than actual previews of the upcoming season.  Despite this, I am chomping at the bit to see the Bengals dominate the league, along with the rest of my fantasy roster, leading me to the glory and infamy I so deserve.  Since I’ve been playing club Rugby all summer, I’ve also decided to take an interest in the World Cup of Rugby starting September 7th.  I was just informed that it’s the 4th most watched sporting event in the world behind the World Cup of Soccer and the Olympic Games ( I too thought more people watched Dancing with the Stars than the Winter Olympics, Who knew?).  I would be surprised to find out that more than a handful of Americans other than their 30 man roster and Miss Teen South Carolina have even heard of the game which means that countries like England, Australia, New Zealand and France will be literally shutting down to watch their home sides.  I think this kind of obsessive fandom is greater than any in our domestic professional leagues.  The drinking and rioting that go along with it mean that it can only be undertaken every four years for everyones safety.  Speaking of safety, the other reason I wanted to wrote this post was to have an excuse to show you this clip of Sebastian Chabal.  He plays for France, which is the site of the tournament and is clearly a deranged individual.  If anyone could take down Kimbo Slice, I’d put my money on this guy, and not just because he looks like the white version of him.

I’m pretty sure he broke that guys jaw when he headbutted him.  Also, I’m going to make two predictions:  Canada will make it to the knockout round and France will ride homefield advantage to victory.

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Filed under Kimbo Slice, Rugby, Sebastian Chabal, World Cup

Nope Sorry.

Ever since I moved to Miami I’ve been making a inordinate amount of long distance calls. It probably has something to do with the fact that I refuse to speak to the 85% of the population of Miami that is functionally retarded. Regardless I tend to make a lot of calls to Canada and other cities up in the North East. To save my phone bill I’ve been using skype, and it’s $29.99 per/ year unlimited outcall plan. The problem with this of course is that I am unable to get in calls on my skype phone, and so what usually happens is that I have people call me on my mobile and then depending on whether or not I can get to a phone I either call them back on skype, or I just take the charge on my cell. It’s a pretty simple system but apparently there is a new way for me to consolidate.

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Enter the Plantroics Calisto Pro. This one device will take my cellphone, landline, and skype calls while single handedly ruining my sex life. I mean look at this late-term design abortion. It is possibly the ugliest phone I’ve ever seen and at just this side of three hundred dollars you’d expect that it would at least look good enough to get you laid. While I would never be so shallow as to not sleep with someone because of their phone, we are living in a material world and most of the women I sleep with are material girls whores who just might might not get loose in the pants if I’m carrying this phone. The device itself is pretty cool, though I’m still confused about how it can take calls from a landline while mobile (doesn’t the landline then become a cell). Also I’m not sure if I would be able to trust the brand name, Plantronics, because it sounds like the type of name that they would put on The Flintstones, one which just close enough to a real brand that you recognize it but far enough away that they can’t be sued.

I’ll admit that I may not be the target market for this item but I probably could be and I’m sure that there are thousands dozens of young people out there who use three different phones and would be will to join them all together if a product came out that looked cool and functioned well. The shame is that it’s almost a sure thing that someone in the near future will make a phone that does all of the exact same things but it will look good, and a load of people will buy it. Too bad Plantronics, too bad.

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Filed under Life, Phones, Skype

Subway Series.

I really wish that I could think of something funny to say about this picture… but I can’t.  I feel like my lack of humor may have something to do with the 25 imported Vietnamese beers I swilled last night.

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Filed under Uncategorized

A.L. East: Fucking the Jays since ’95

What was I thinking?  For the second season in a row, I actually thought the Blue Jays might finish ahead of either Boston or New York in the A.L. East.  After being swept by the A’s we sit 12.5 games behind the Yankee’s and 7.5 behind the Sox.  In other words, we’re fucked.  Ever since the Jays won back to back World Series’ in ’92 and ’93, we have been pretty fucked every year.  I decided to delve into the past to see just what has been going on since those triumphant times.  What I found was very interesting. 

In 93, the Jays finished as World Champions for the second straight season and the Montreal Expo’s were just 3 games shy of winning the pennant in the N.L. East.  Is it a coincidence that Major League Baseball decided to realign the divisions and change the playoff format the very next year?  I think not.  I think they were worried we were trying to steal “America’s Game.”  The divisions were set, and the Expo’s dominated in ’94. This just happened to be the strike shortened season.  Very convenient.  The Expo’s never really recovered after this disappointment and eventually relocated where?  That’s right, Washington D.C., the heart of the great beast. 

The Wildcard has been awarded for 12 years now, and how many times do you think it has gone to an A.L. East team?  8.  That’s twice as many as any other division in baseball.  In fact, last season was the first time a team in the A.L. Central has ever gotten it.  It was also the first time the Jays have finished in the top two in the division since the new system was put in place.  This division is clearly the hardest in baseball.  It’s dominated by the two most storied and historic franchises in the American League.  It’s not bad enough that we have to compete with them, we also have to play them about 50 times a year.  We get to play the Devil Ray’s and Oriole’s the same amount which should even it out but never does.  On that note, can you imagine being a Devil Ray’s fan?  Holy shit, what a lost cause.

I started this morning hating the Blue Jays for not living up to my expectations.  They were even teasing me late, getting hot after the break, including their pitching which was totally unexpected.  I was considering adopting a new team to root for that would actually have a shot.  Instead, I think I’m just going to hate Major League Baseball.  They let us slow witted Canadians have a couple rings and then pulled the rug right out from under us.  I’m vowing to hate baseball from now on, or at least until the beginning of next season when the NHL, NBA, and NFL are all gone and I’ll have no fantasy sports to play. 

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Filed under A.L. East, baseball, Blue Jays, Devil Rays, Expos, MLB, Red Sox, weak conspiracy theories, Yankees