Nope Sorry.

Ever since I moved to Miami I’ve been making a inordinate amount of long distance calls. It probably has something to do with the fact that I refuse to speak to the 85% of the population of Miami that is functionally retarded. Regardless I tend to make a lot of calls to Canada and other cities up in the North East. To save my phone bill I’ve been using skype, and it’s $29.99 per/ year unlimited outcall plan. The problem with this of course is that I am unable to get in calls on my skype phone, and so what usually happens is that I have people call me on my mobile and then depending on whether or not I can get to a phone I either call them back on skype, or I just take the charge on my cell. It’s a pretty simple system but apparently there is a new way for me to consolidate.


Enter the Plantroics Calisto Pro. This one device will take my cellphone, landline, and skype calls while single handedly ruining my sex life. I mean look at this late-term design abortion. It is possibly the ugliest phone I’ve ever seen and at just this side of three hundred dollars you’d expect that it would at least look good enough to get you laid. While I would never be so shallow as to not sleep with someone because of their phone, we are living in a material world and most of the women I sleep with are material girls whores who just might might not get loose in the pants if I’m carrying this phone. The device itself is pretty cool, though I’m still confused about how it can take calls from a landline while mobile (doesn’t the landline then become a cell). Also I’m not sure if I would be able to trust the brand name, Plantronics, because it sounds like the type of name that they would put on The Flintstones, one which just close enough to a real brand that you recognize it but far enough away that they can’t be sued.

I’ll admit that I may not be the target market for this item but I probably could be and I’m sure that there are thousands dozens of young people out there who use three different phones and would be will to join them all together if a product came out that looked cool and functioned well. The shame is that it’s almost a sure thing that someone in the near future will make a phone that does all of the exact same things but it will look good, and a load of people will buy it. Too bad Plantronics, too bad.


1 Comment

Filed under Life, Phones, Skype

One response to “Nope Sorry.

  1. McInenly (Jeffrey C.)

    I didn’t actually read more than the first line of this entry. However, upon reading “ever since I moved to Miami I’ve made …” I couldn’t help but recall my own recent, and similar, dilemmas.

    Ever since I moved to Detroit I’ve also made an inordinate amount of long distance calls to my imaginary and hopefully (in my mind’s eye) fat asian girlfriend.

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