Monthly Archives: September 2007

My terrible picks. Week 4.

You know what?  Odds dictate that it’s just as hard to pick all of the losers as it is all of the winners.  Oppositely it be most effortless to go .500 in a vacuum, unfortunately I am not in a vacuum and I know a couple of things about football this explains how I am able to go only 18 winners in 32 games without considering the spread.  Enough of this foolishness I’m turning around my season right now.

 

Houston @ Atlanta – When did the AFC South get any good?  It’s not fair if Indy has to play any tough games in the season how are they going to cake walk into the playoffs.  The AFC South is 9-3 overall and 6-0 outside of the division.  Look for that to continue this week.  Houston

Jets @ Buffalo –  I hate everything about this game.  The AFC East is terrible and I could care less who comes in second place.  Since I have to make a pick I’ll take the Jet’s as Buffalo will be playing without J.P. Losman. Jets

Baltimore @ Cleveland – Baltimore hasn’t looked nearly as good as you would think, and you’ve got to assume that Jamal Lewis will have a huge week against his old team, he always seems to play well at Cleveland Browns Stadium.  Cleveland 

St. Louis @ Dallas – Is St. Louis as bad as they look?   I don’t think so, but I also don’t believe that this is the week that they will turn it around.  Dallas is going to clobber them.  Dallas

Chicago @ Detroit – I read that Chicago is thin at DB which is not good against this Lions team.  To beat Detroit Chicago is going to have to put up 28.  I’m not sure they’ll do that with Brian Greise.  Detroit

Oakland @ Miami – I’ll be a homer again.  Miami

Green Bay @ Minnesota – I still think that Minnesota is better than it is playing Chester Taylor coming back should help the team pound the ball inside and open up passing lanes for Peterson.  Minnesota

Seattle @ San Francisco – Does anyone like Seattle?  I don’t.  San Fran  

Tampa Bay @ Carolina – Am I going to be that sucker that keeps betting against a Tampa Bay team that I should trust but I don’t?  You bet. Carolina

Denver @ Indianapolis  On paper you’ve got to like the matchup because of Denver’s great pass defense, the problem is that Indy will probably just pound the ball against a run defense that stinks.  If the Denver D showed me more against Jacksonville last week I’d take them but they didn’t.  Indy

Pittsburgh @ Arizona – I think that Arizona is pretty good, and I like them at home in their new Stadium, but Pittsburgh has looked like one of the best three or four teams in football this season, so I’ll go with them.  Pittsburgh

Kansas City @ San Diego –   I’m looking for San Diego to bounce back in a big way against a team is awful.  San Diego

Philadelphia @ Giants – The Giants don’t look good at all. I watch their entire game against Washington and I’m still trying to figure out how they won.  I’ve heard people say that the Giants shutdown the Redskins in the second half but that wasn’t the case Washington just didn’t show up.  Philadelphia

New England @ Cinncinati – I like Kenny Wastson but he’s no Rudi Johnson.  Look for New England to stay perfect.  New England

 

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My Sac’s Picks, Love Fruffy

Hello friends.  For all those keeping track, I am now 20-12 on the season where as my partner in crime is a horrible 18-14.  He may be dominating me in fantasy (along with the rest of the league), but at least I still have this to hold over his head.  There should be some great games this week so lets get to the picks.

Houston @ Atlanta – Worst match-up ever.  Houston

Jets @ Buffalo – I’d like to believe that the Bills can pull this one out but frankly they are crap.  The Jets haven’t showed themselves to be too much better, but they come out on top here.  Jets

Baltimore @ Cleveland – It should be interesting to see if the Browns can recreate the magic that allowed them to out-shoot the Bengals two weeks ago.  They seem to always get up for these divisional rivalries and might just be able to keep this thing close.  In the end they won’t be able to put up the points they did on the Bengals and Willis will run all over them.  Ravens

St. Louis @ Dallas – Nothing has surprised me more than the Rams terrible start.  I thought Bulger and Jackson would both have terrific fantasy years again whether the team succeeded eventually or not.  I really didn’t care if they won as long as they scored.  Well, they cant, and Dallas definitely can.  According to the John Madden school of logic that should lead to a Dallas victory.  Cowboys

Chicago @ Detroit – In one of the most intriguing games, Brian Griese will take the reigns of the frighteningly potent Bears offense.  I think he is a better QB than Rexy, hell, I think I could probably compete with Rex, but will he be enough to spark an offensive coming out party?  I think he’ll do just enough while the Bears D gives Kitna fits.  Bears

Oakland @ Miami – This game will no doubt be a pretty ugly one.  Look for Lamont to pound the aging Fins D into submission and Jerry Porter to catch 3 TD’s.  Please Jerry, I need this.  Raiders

Green Bay @ Minnesota – Green Bay is blowing everyone’s minds with their big start while Minny is coming off a loss to the awful Chiefs.  This game should be a tough one and I think that the Vikings will make it very tough on the Pack.  I think their defense will shut down Favre and company.  Kelly Holcomb will have a Derek Anderson-like day, leading the Vikings to .500.  Vikings

Seattle @ San Francisco – I hate Seattle.  They are so boring to watch it makes my eyes bleed.  I’m taking the Niners for this fact and no others.  Their offense is ready to explode and I really hope it happens here.  Niners

Tampa Bay @ Carolina – In the past this game has been a gritty defense battle between two great defenses.  However, Carolina’s D has looked like a giant pile of fecal matter thus far.  I don’t see the trend stopping here.  Bucs

Denver @ Indianapolis – Colts

Pittsburgh @ Arizona – I can’t believe my favourite illegitimate Dad got pulled for that God-loving old man.  He won’t let it happen again, unless he gets sacked a couple times early and throws a pick which is highly unlikely.  The Cards will make this a tight one and I really want them to win but without Anquan it will be a challenge.  Big Ben may prove too much.  I’m thinking Steelers

Kansas City @ San Diego – If the Chargers don’t win this game I will fire Norv Turner myself.  An ape could manage this team better than him.  Heres the game plan:  ooo eeee oooo aaaaaa.  Translation:  give the fucking rock to LT.  Chargers

Philadelphia @ Giants – I’m sure Donovan took great pleasure in making so many eat their words last week.  I’m pretty sure they will ride the emotional tidal wave for a couple wins in a row.  The Giants D is so terrible that he might even have another statistically phenomenal week.  Eagles

New England @ Cinncinati – Chad vs. Randy.  I can’t think of a better Monday match-up than this.  The Pats have looked pretty perfect so far but I think Carson may be able to find a couple holes in that D.  It will hurt them a lot if Rudi can’t go or is limited but I don’t really think they have a legitimate shot anyways.  I just hope it’s an entertaining game with lots of shit-talking and dancing.  Patriots

In other new I’m heading to the Bloc Party show tonight so expect a review soon eventually.

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Buffalo News Loves Kevin Everett.

Sure this clip was on With Leather which means that it has already been seen by about 500,000 more people than look at our site but I think that it is hilarious, and it illustrates just how bad the local news in Buffalo is.  Growing up in Toronto all of the American channels that became used to with were either the Buffalo or the Rochester feeds.  Buffalo news is one of the worst productions ever this video illustrates that, but I guess that goes without saying I mean how often does anything exciting happen in upstate New York.  In seventh grade I remember thinking how can “Fire strikes North Tonawanda” everyday.

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Don’t taser me bro, I read the Sports Guy

           

So by now everyone has seen the jackass who got a shock at the John Kerry speech.  I don’t want to get too into the politics of the whole situation, but you’ve got to be crazy if from watching the video you couldn’t predict that he was going to get shocked (it’s called resisting arrest pal).  It’s not so much that I feel like he deserved it, or that I think the cops couldn’t have gotten him out without violence, it’s just that that’s what happens when you mess around with cops… they fuck you up.  I know this because I tend to be the type of person who messes around with cops after they tell you to stop messing around and as a result I’ve been hit on at least a couple occasions.  I suppose the difference is that why I got hit it was because I had been doing something inappropriate before or after drinking cheap wine / gasoline, and when I woke up I usually felt like it was my own fault.  Since the last time I was hit though I realized that cops are people of authority and people of authority tend to get pissy when their authority is ignored.  So I’ve decided that in the future I’m no longer going to be a smart ass around police officers.

Anyway what I actually wanted to write about is that apparently Andrew Meyers is a huge fan of super douche / lazy blogster  Bill Simmons.

Before I get started, I wanted to acknowledge that yes, I read Bill Simmons. He is in fact my favorite sports writer. But let me be clear: I am not stealing his opinions, and I never will.

At this point I’m wondering what there is to steal from Sports guy.  I suppose that he has cornered the market on J.D. Drew jokes, and … well I guess that’s it.  Simmons has become a farce.  He for some reason acts too big for his britches and has stopped writing in his blog regularly.   He’s also become “Hollywood” after all the guy does hangout with C-listers Jimmy Kimble and Adam Corella.  To save himself from actually doing any real work he’s taken to doing a podcast that is so bad I haven’t been able to make it through a single one yet.  I read on a message board an analogy that I thought was great, reading Sports Guy posts has become almost Pavlovian, I don’t read them because I expect to be entertained, I read them because I see the link on the ESPN homepage.  I really hope that he can pull it together, and write some new stuff that captures whatever it was that he had a couple of years ago, but it has literally been at least 6 months since I have ready anything interesting from him.

The fact that Meyer is a fan doesn’t surprise me at all.  Both are lazy.  Meyer didn’t wait in line to ask his question, Simmons posts once every two weeks.  Both believe that they are more important than they actually are.  Meyer can be seen leading a protest here, while Simmons feeling of self worth is so high he is attempting to turn phone calls with his friends into a podcast.  Finally both irritate me.  I hope that these two can enjoy each others company somewhere far far away from me.

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Icky Hump

So the interweb is ablaze today with the news gossip that Meg White may have filmed herself having sex.  My first thought… ewwwww….. My second thought… hmmmmm…

Needless to say I’m more than a little interested in seeing the plainest girl in Rock and Roll have sex.  But for some reason I can’t bring myself to watch it… I don’t know if it’s because I’m a little worried that it won’t actually be her, that it will actually be her, or that someone in my office will catch me watching porn at work.  It’s probably the later though… If anyone else wants to have the same moral dilemma the link can be found here.  Until I build up the courage to watch it I’d love to hear whether people think that it is her or not.

On a completely unrelated note The White Stripes were recently forced to cancel their tour because of Meg’s “acute anxiety”

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One Pen.

One of my friends just started a resource for any one who is interested in volunteering abroad, teaching English overseas, or WOOFing (sounds dirtier than it actually is). I personally am too caught up in my own life (see, working for the man) to do anything like this but if your interested check out http://www.onepen.org

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NFL Week Three: Picked by a Sac

Arizona @ Baltimore – Baltimore hasn’t looked great at all but my guess is that they are still better than any mediocre NFC team, especially a team that has a cartoonish Cardinal on the side of its helmet.  Baltimore

San Diego @ Green Bay – This game will be my upset special for the week… I can’t believe I actually almost wrote that.  Am I crazy? San Diego has played against two great teams and now they run into a crappy 2-0 Green Bay team that hasn’t yet played a good team.  I have to take San Diego

Indianapolis @ HoustonI really want to pick against Indy again but doing that last week killed my overall record.  Houston is ok but they have to beat a playoff team before I’ll follow everyone on ESPN’s lead and Crown their Asses.  Indy

Minnesota @ Kansas City – Minnesota looked terrible last week, (not that I was watching) but I still like them as my surprise team of the year so I’ll take them to beat the worst team in the NFL.  I guess this week will tell everyone whether Arrowhead will give an advantage to a shitty team.  Minnesota

Buffalo @ (New) England –  16.5 Spread… Enough said.  New England

Miami @ Jets – This game is going to be like eating a fart rapped in shit.  I’ll be a homer and take Miami but honestly I don’t care.  Miami

Detroit @ Philly –  If anything is going to wake up Philly’s offense it has to be the weakest defense in the league… This one is going to be a shootout and will be a ton of fun to watch.  Philly.

San Fran @ Pittsburgh – I really like San Fran but come on.  Pittsburgh has looked great… I think this will be the Steelers toughest game yet but they’ll still win by at least 6.  Pittsburgh.

St. Louis @ Tampa Bay –   Stephan Jackson has a chip on his shoulder, and this Tampa Bay team played above its head by beating New Orleans last week.  St. Louis.

Jacksonville @ Denver – Did anyone else think that the timeout Denver took against Oakland was one of the worst things that could have happened in football?  I did.  I really considered taking Jacksonville just for the sake of karma, but I recently spent a night in Jacksonville and it fucking sucks.  Denver with a last second field goal.

Cleveland @ Oakland – I am going to be the first to hop aboard the Derek Anderson train.  Brady Quinn will become the next Phillip Rivers by sitting even for his first two seasons.  Cleveland

Cincinnati @ Seattle – Cincinnati is back looking like a bunch of crazies that are good one week and bad the next… Seattle looks the same, but they’re playing at home and they tend not to lose there… Seattle

Carolina @ Atlanta – I’ll go against Bill Simmons, who beyond being an idiot keeps putting out the worst podcasts on the internet, and take Carolina.  I’ve been kicking myself for taking Holt over Steve Smith in fantasy football.  Smith is the smallest monster I’ve ever seen.

Giants @ Washington – I’ll take Washington at home against a terrible looking Giants team.  Washington.

Dallas @ Chicago – I’ve like Dallas.  So far this year they look great.  It’s going to be a test for Romo, but the Bears won’t have their best offensive weapon as Devin Hester isn’t going to have any balls thrown to him.  If this game were in January it would be a different story but it isn’t.  Dallas  

Tennessee @ New Orleans – This will be a great game to watch because neither team has any defense and both have great weapons on offense.  While it has been said that Vince Young wins football games.  Period.  I gotta take New Orleans at home after two sobering road loses.  New Orleans

 

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