On the ground floor of my office is an Italian restaurant that’s pretty good. It’s not great and it really isn’t anything too special but it’s pretty good. Perhaps the best thing about it is that it has a patio where you can sit outside and enjoy an obstructed view of the ocean.
Less than an hour ago I was walking by it on my way to park where I was going to eat my lunch and none other than Shaquille O’Neal was sitting outside, eating a Fettuccine Alfredo. Shaq is a big man, he’s hard not to notice, but what I saw today leads me to believe that he wanted to be seen at least a little. He had a black t-shirt with the giant superman logo and the word “Police” across the back… and he was carrying a gun in a holster on his hip. I know it would have been a better story if he had the gun tucked in the back of his sweat pants, but he didn’t.
As soon as I got back to my office I called Fruffy at work and decided that Shaq should retire at the end of the year for two reasons. 1. By that time the league will have Greg Oden who has enough personality to fill the void and 2. because at Sacs in the City we can’t wait for Shaq to start his own bounty hunter enterprise which will obviously be turned into a intriguing (though probably disappointing) reality show. Essentially what I guess I’m trying to say is that I’m ready for the next phase of Shaq’s life regardless of whether or not he is. I’m tired of the new Tiki and Keyshawn I want the new Diesel I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be a fun trip to watch.