NFL Week Three: Picked by a Sac

Arizona @ Baltimore – Baltimore hasn’t looked great at all but my guess is that they are still better than any mediocre NFC team, especially a team that has a cartoonish Cardinal on the side of its helmet.  Baltimore

San Diego @ Green Bay – This game will be my upset special for the week… I can’t believe I actually almost wrote that.  Am I crazy? San Diego has played against two great teams and now they run into a crappy 2-0 Green Bay team that hasn’t yet played a good team.  I have to take San Diego

Indianapolis @ Houston – I really want to pick against Indy again but doing that last week killed my overall record.  Houston is ok but they have to beat a playoff team before I’ll follow everyone on ESPN’s lead and Crown their Asses.  Indy

Minnesota @ Kansas City – Minnesota looked terrible last week, (not that I was watching) but I still like them as my surprise team of the year so I’ll take them to beat the worst team in the NFL.  I guess this week will tell everyone whether Arrowhead will give an advantage to a shitty team.  Minnesota

Buffalo @ (New) England –  16.5 Spread… Enough said.  New England

Miami @ Jets – This game is going to be like eating a fart rapped in shit.  I’ll be a homer and take Miami but honestly I don’t care.  Miami

Detroit @ Philly –  If anything is going to wake up Philly’s offense it has to be the weakest defense in the league… This one is going to be a shootout and will be a ton of fun to watch.  Philly.

San Fran @ Pittsburgh – I really like San Fran but come on.  Pittsburgh has looked great… I think this will be the Steelers toughest game yet but they’ll still win by at least 6.  Pittsburgh.

St. Louis @ Tampa Bay –   Stephan Jackson has a chip on his shoulder, and this Tampa Bay team played above its head by beating New Orleans last week.  St. Louis.

Jacksonville @ Denver – Did anyone else think that the timeout Denver took against Oakland was one of the worst things that could have happened in football?  I did.  I really considered taking Jacksonville just for the sake of karma, but I recently spent a night in Jacksonville and it fucking sucks.  Denver with a last second field goal.

Cleveland @ Oakland – I am going to be the first to hop aboard the Derek Anderson train.  Brady Quinn will become the next Phillip Rivers by sitting even for his first two seasons.  Cleveland

Cincinnati @ Seattle – Cincinnati is back looking like a bunch of crazies that are good one week and bad the next… Seattle looks the same, but they’re playing at home and they tend not to lose there… Seattle

Carolina @ Atlanta – I’ll go against Bill Simmons, who beyond being an idiot keeps putting out the worst podcasts on the internet, and take Carolina.  I’ve been kicking myself for taking Holt over Steve Smith in fantasy football.  Smith is the smallest monster I’ve ever seen.

Giants @ Washington – I’ll take Washington at home against a terrible looking Giants team.  Washington.

Dallas @ Chicago – I’ve like Dallas.  So far this year they look great.  It’s going to be a test for Romo, but the Bears won’t have their best offensive weapon as Devin Hester isn’t going to have any balls thrown to him.  If this game were in January it would be a different story but it isn’t.  Dallas  

Tennessee @ New Orleans – This will be a great game to watch because neither team has any defense and both have great weapons on offense.  While it has been said that Vince Young wins football games.  Period.  I gotta take New Orleans at home after two sobering road loses.  New Orleans