I’m going to attempt to quickly break down the way I think the AFC will finish this season. Lets get one thing straight, I’m not doing this so that you will gain any sort of insight whatsoever. I’m going to do this so that in the off chance I’m right, I’ll be able to look back and tell everyone how smart I am. If I’m off by a long shot I’m pretty sure no one will remember reading this. I’m not feeling a lot of pressure here so lets get it started.
1. Pats – I know, I’m already going out on a limb here. It’s gonna get crazy.
2. Jets – I heard Chad has been working on his arm strength and can now throw like a 10, not 8 year old girl.
3. Bills – I think this could be a breakout season for J.P. What does that mean? Nothing really, at least they get to play in Buffalo!
4. Dolphins – Trent Green is so old. Just look at him….He’s so old. Their back-ups name is Cleo Lemon though. That’s a perk!
1. Whale’s Vaginas – I know, another huge surprise. L.T. is just so damn good and Rivers is going to look better as well.
2. Broncos – If Travis Henry can manage to feed all his children and keep his mind on the game they’re gold.
3. Raiders – People’s expectations of Daunte couldn’t possibly be lower. Anything positive he does will be a huge lift.
4. Chiefs – They suck plain and simple. L.J. is all they have and he’s overrated and overused. Bye bye Herm.
1. Ravens – Willis McGahee saves them and my fantasy season. Please don’t hit him in the knee.
2. Bengals – They’re my team but not having any legitimate defense players will really hurt them in the long run.
3. Browns – Brady Quinn is starting by week 5 and everyone in Miami throws up in their mouths a little.
4. Steelers – I don’t think they can rebound from the Steely McBeem debacle.
1. Colts – If they give up less than 50 points a game they can win every week.
2. Titans – Vince Young will end the Madden Curse emphatically. He has no idea what that word means but he agrees.
3. Texans – They will finally start being more than a laughing stock. Mario Williams will have at least 25 sacks.
4. Jags – After Mo-Jo goes down with an injury I laugh at everyone who picked him too high in their fantasy draft.
In my mind the division winners are all pretty much locks. The Ravens are the shakiest of the four especially since they have the hardest divisional games in my opinion. As far as Wildcards I like the Titans and Broncos. I don’t have to have reasons dammit. I’ll pick San Diego to come out of the AFC because I think their defense has the ability to shut down the Colts while their offense can definitely put up the points as well. So there you have it. At the end of the season I’ll either be gloating wildly or completely silent hoping no one read this garbage in the first place.