Life Rule #2

 greatwhite.jpg

While I generally make it a point in life not to agree with Gilbert Arenas, he made a very strong point in a recent blog post that I think should qualify as a life rule.

We’re humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

Essentially Gilbert is trying to make the point that English linguistic misuses the word attack, suggesting that if something shouldn’t be somewhere it cannot be attacked.  It is this type of logic that makes life worth living.  Though we, as human beings, like to believe  that we should have free reign over the earth I agree with Gilbert, we don’t.  I say that if we stray somewhere that we shouldn’t be we cannot claim that we were attacked.   I purpose that this be extended to all situations of trespassing and a life rule be created.

The only problem that I can see arising from this rule is that the (now-defunct) fox show “When Animals attack” will have to change it’s name to “When people invade an animals space.”

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10 Comments

Filed under Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas, Life, NBA

10 responses to “Life Rule #2

  1. This is a scary picture. I am unnaturally terrified of sharks, mountain lions, and cats with feline AIDS.

  2. Henderson

    “Sharks are beautiful creatures”
    -James Blair WMU Broncos ’08

  3. McInenly (Jeffrey C.)

    feline aids is for pussies. trust me. my japan girlfriend is a cat and she’s got vaginal aids. get it? literally its for pussies (that’s a synonym for vage).

  4. ruraldean

    So killer whales don’t attack seals then…?

    attack: to set upon in a forceful, violent, hostile, or aggressive way, with or without a weapon; begin fighting with: He attacked him with his bare hands.

    Methinks this is spurious argument.

  5. palestinmiami

    I would say that a killer whale either hunts, or preys upon a Seal. It certainly doesn’t attack it, and I think that it is silly to say that it fights it. If you don’t believe just ask Agent Zero.

  6. So if I’m driving through the streets of London and I take a wrong turn and end up driving the wrong way up a one-way street (somewhere I shouldn’t be), and a bloody great truck driver coming the other way gets out of his vehicle and beats the living shit out of me, this is not an attack?

    The word “attack” is never conditional on location. It means what I said it did, and sharks certainly do attack, but fortunately rarely. And as for the seal, the shark doesn’t fight it, you’re right, but when it does prey upon it, or hunt it, the bit where it takes a bloody great run up and hits it, jaws open, at 40 miles per hour is an attack. And the seal has every right to be there.

    So I don’t need to ask Agent Zero.

  7. palestinmiami

    Your analogy is wrong again… Just because you aren’t doing the right thing doesn’t suggest that you aren’t suppose to be somewhere. Cars are suppose to be on roads and people are suppose to be in cities (such as London). By turning up a one-way street you are breaking a social norm and a law but cars are suppose to be on roads. In that case you would be attacked. However, if you went into a bear cave and started pushing around baby bears, I would feel uncomfortable suggesting that you were attacked, rather I would say that the bear was protecting it’s family. As for your seal analogy you’re still way off. Would you say that when a farmer kills a cow or a pig that he is attacking it? I sure wouldn’t.

    While you have done the research on dictionary.com, I personally do not agree with the definition that you have been given (nor would Hibachi). Dictionaries are often outdated or do not necessarily reflect the way that a word is actually used, for proof of this notice the differences between dictionary.com and urbandictionary.com. As I’ve said above I’m with Gilbert and your definition is way off.

  8. “Dictionaries are often outdated or do not necessarily reflect the way that a word is actually used…”

    You said it, but are you therefore outdated for not adopting the common useage of the word “attack”?

    Plus, you’ve completely ignored my second point.

  9. McInenly (Jeffrey C.)

    ruraldean is a funny name.

  10. I’m glad the name ruraldean amuses you. It made me laugh too, when it was given to me. But then I’m a fan of irony.

    Have a look at my site – you’ll see why.

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