Power Rankings “Friday July 13th 2007”

1.      Laziness:  For the record these are last week’s Power Rankings they should have been published before I left work on Friday but instead they go up during work on Wednesday because I took Monday off.  I’m not going to include anything from this weekend in these rankings because that would leave me nothing to write about on Friday… Essentially this one has already been mailed in and I’m writing about stuff that is painfully old (Antoine Walker for example)  I’m going to try to pull it back together and get them up more regularly again.

2.      The Ultimate Warrior:  I didn’t realize when I was a kid how fucking crazy the Ultimate Warrior was, I mean look at this guy, he’s nuts.  Some of the golden nuggets that can be drawn from Ultimate Warrior interviews include: “Should I lay on the ground and let lawnmowers run over me?” and “Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel … Load it with Commands.“  I also find it really funny that after the whole Chris Benoit thing they needed an “unaffiliated expert” to do the rounds of the local talk shows so they asked the Warrior.

3.      Antoine Walker Gets Robbed:  Big news this week was that Antoine Walker was robbed at gun point by either the Ultimate Warrior or Kimbo slice.  It is unclear how ‘Twan was able to keep the criminals from getting a shot off.

4.      Parts and Labor  A New York City based math rock band in the same vein as Battles.  This group has set itself apart through its first three albums by incorporating some unique instruments into their music.  For example very few rock groups include bagpipes as integral instrumentation. “Perhaps most notable of all, Parts and Labor twist and distort just enough to be challenging, yet carry through with a melody that ultimately makes them entirely accessible. Look out for these dudes.”  (www.ohmyrockness.com) 5.      Cold Tea:  In Toronto this weekend I did my absolute favorite thing.  Cold Tea.  For those of you who “aren’t in the know” Cold Tea is getting boozed in Chinese food restaurants after the bars close.  The thing is they can’t legally serve you booze so they end up giving it to you in tea pots so that the Fuzz can’t figure it out.  I realized that the reason why I like cold tea so much is because it’s like a family dinner, only really late and everyone is wasted (so at my family it’s more like a Thanksgiving Dinner).

6.      Dice Games:  We were playing dice games at the bar in Toronto.  It started out with the loser being forced to chug a beer or buy a pitcher, but then the game quickly transformed into $5 rolls.  It was funny by gambling in the bar with dice we instantaneously became the belle of the ball.  By the end we had a small crowd gathering around us, asking if they could play.  The climaxed with game where the winner got $75.  

7.      Paintball:  In Toronto my friend Jo came up with the brilliant idea that we should go play paintball.  On first thought this sounds really great idea, but when we get there it turns out that paintball arenas are a breeding ground for psychopaths.  I’m telling you everyone in there could easily go Columbine and you wouldn’t be surprised.  Anyway, 4 of us ended up going Jo, her sister Sarah, Tim and I.  Of all of us, Sarah who I had met about 15 minutes before, was the most afraid of being hit.  Anyway after getting the rules explained to us, we head out to play.  Within 5 minutes of the start of the game the four of us avoiding getting hit.  I’m looking over one end of a building and Jo and Sarah scream.  I turn around firing and end up accidentally shooting Sarah from about 5 feet away.  I start to feel like an ass.

8.      MLB:  I’m going to Boston and New York this weekend to visit some friends.  One of the glorious benefits of the trip is that I am going to go to Fenway and Yankee stadium to see a couple of Jays games.  I’m really excited.

9.      Los Campesinos – (http://www.myspace.com/loscampesinos) a very young (as in age) alt-rock band out of Cardiff.  They just signed with arts and crafts.   They’re pretty fuckin’ sweet with a good Interpol type sound.

10.  Transformers:   I saw it on Wednesday night, and I have to say I was really impressed.  It wasn’t good, but it was a lot of fun.  I especially enjoyed how Michael Bay managed to maintain the story of cartoon that I used to love what I was kid, I also really liked the way that they kept  the original sound that the cartoon made when the robots transformed. 

11.  Random facebook picture of a kid from my high school:


 12.  Alley Cats:  So I was walking behind my house and I saw an alley cat that had been hit by a car.  I was really sad the cat was as flat as a pancake

13.  Kimbo Slice: I haven’t heard of him killing anyone lately so he slides slightly down the list at least until I can confirm that he was in no way involved in robbing Antoine.

14.  Getting Solicited for my blood:  A couple weeks before I moved south there was a blood drive in my building… Being the upstanding citizen that I am I decided that I should give some of my precious life fuel.  I did and it was fine.  What happened next though sort of irritated me.  Last week the blood bank called me, thanking me for giving blood and asking to give again.  I thought about, and was a little irritated for being asked but finally said that I would.  The operator then informed me that the closest bank was in Hialeah which is like 28 miles from my house.  It irritated me beyond, but I went gave blood and told them that they were only allowed to call back if they had a blood drive at a catholic girl’s high school.

15.  Not being able to thing of a way to end the post:  I feel like David Chase.



Filed under Ally Cats, David Chase, douchebags, Kimbo, Life, Power Rankings, Sports

2 responses to “Power Rankings “Friday July 13th 2007”

  1. fruffy

    You should hit spellcheck before “mailing it in” next week!

  2. Pingback: Spanish Peasants Rock « Sacs in The City.

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